Content warning: This article contains references to themes of self-harm and death, which some folks may find distressing.
How would I bring myself to kill myself? I could never understand why you did it. The thought must come from a dark and inescapable feeling of nothing. It must feel like life flows through you and around you, without actually touching you. Life is so beautiful, and we were still young. I guess I didn't know you well enough to speak deeply on your character, but you feel like a part of my past that never happened.
I have so many questions. What's it like to flirt with death? Maybe the thrill is comparable to that of a high stakes poker game for someone who lost the ability to feel. Maybe this rush is a feeling they chase, or perhaps it presents itself as a permanent solution to everything they cannot handle. Those last moments. Do you think your entire life might flash before your eyes, or do you envision a mind finally set free. Is this a selfish decision? What's to be said about all the people you impacted and, maybe, loved? How would they cope with your decision? You could even leave a little note, make your motives less unclear, for the people who will carry the pain of your absence on their back for the rest of their lives.
I don't get it.
It's important to reach out and talk to someone if you feel yourself struggling. Don’t walk that path alone. It leads nowhere.
Please, reach out.
1-888-429-8167 | Provincial Mental Health and Addictions Crisis Line
1-800-307-1686 | Peer Support Phone Service
811 | Talk to a registered nurse
988 | 24/7 Suicide Crisis Helpline
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